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Why Do You Get Friend-Zoned?


Love And Sex

Why Do You Get Friend-Zoned?

This should help you get past the ‘just good friends’ mark

You’ve probably heard it all along — nice guys finish last! The not-so-nice ones always manage to whisk away the girl of your dreams. And you keep wondering why.

You listen to all her problems, you’re the shoulder she cries on. You continue to adore her even though she shows no interest. But you stick around so that she realises her love for you someday. Unfortunately, this very behaviour could be the reason you ended up in the friend-zone in the first place.

So, what went wrong?

You meet a girl, become friends and you suddenly start feeling for her. You’ve dropped hints but are too afraid to talk about your feelings openly. Sounds familiar?

Chances are, she doesn’t even know how you feel so she will obviously move on to finding love elsewhere.

Raman Sengupta, 19, a Delhi University student, tells us, “I was too afraid to tell her about my true feelings. I was actually afraid of getting rejected. Not only would I have lost her forever, but that feeling of rejection scares the hell out of me.”

So, he continued to be her friend. Is fear of rejection so intense that you prefer to keep the feelings tucked in your heart forever, like a secret admirer? Hearing a ‘no‘ is hard, but wondering ‘what if‘ and living in regret is even worse.

Ask yourself this: why are you playing the waiting game? You might argue that she’s worth it, but if you have waited long enough to see her date other guys and then some, you’re in for some trouble.

You’re always there for her at the drop of her hat – available for her 24×7, buying her presents, taking her places, doing everything a boyfriend does without actually being him! If you want to make it past the ‘just good friends’ mark, ask her to pick a side and behave like it.

Before you tell her how you feel, you need to watch out for the serial ‘friend-zoner’.

What’s a friend-zoner?

Many a times, you have expressed yourself honestly to the girl and have received the clichéd reply, “Let’s just be friends!”

This girl could be a friend-zoner – someone who is too scared or skeptical about committing to a relationship. So she keeps you in this safe friend-zone (she basically queues you).

Then there are others, also known as serial friend-zoners, who consider it their business to keep their guy friends as backups for reasons are lame as picking up and dropping them! These are the ones you really want to stay away from.

Used your heart? Now use your mind

Remember one thing — if a girl likes you, she will never let you go. But if you’re just a friend to her, you might as well find out sooner than later. As home baker Palak Aggarwal, 26, tells us, “He was a very good friend and I was sure that he had started to like me. Although I didn’t want any relationship with him, at the same time, I didn’t want to lose him either. So I just avoided any kind of confrontation.”

You definitely don’t want to keep waiting for something that isn’t there, so make a choice. If you feel a spark, talk to her and try asking her out on a real date. But if she genuinely wants to be just friends, respect her decision. If you have no interest in such kind of a platonic relationship, just move on — you owe it to yourself.

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A wife, a mother and a blogger and has gradually managed to handle all three together (though not without coffee). Shilpa is keen on pursuing her lost dream of becoming a writer. She likes to eat and wants to reduce at the same time.

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