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The Biggest Relationship Dealbreakers & Turnoffs


Love And Sex

The Biggest Relationship Dealbreakers & Turnoffs

Millennials talk about the dating mistakes they just can’t stand

Relationships are hard and romantic relationships are probably the hardest. More so for us millennials who, unlike our parents, have a laundry list of what we’re looking for in our perfect partner. Even so, we’d give it a shot–we’d go ahead and date someone who probably isn’t as tall, beefy or funny as we’d imagined. But there are some things we simply cannot stand when it comes to dating and relationships. Drawing from their personal experience, fellow millennials tell us which mistakes they can get over and which ones could possibly end a relationship.

1. Dealbreaker: Cheating

Broadly speaking, I  believe there are two kinds of people in the world: those who can forgive their partner after cheating, and those who can’t. Whichever category you belong to, it’s probably best if you stay there instead of trying to change yourself or your partner. Why? Because some things are just hardwired and hoping to change them can be disastrous as more often than not, the change will only be temporary. Akshay Jain, founder of CustomBaba agrees. He says, “Things that can be fixed, including long distance issues and time compatibility. However, if a partner cheats, the same cannot be repaired. Changing someone’s personality is difficult thus it cannot be fixed.” (Also read – Long Distance Relationships: Don’ts & Don’ts)

2. Dealbreaker: Being rude and disrespectful

As a generation, we have gained infamy for being rude, brash, inconsiderate and while you could blame it on ‘our times’ or the society, being rude to a loved one is simply unacceptable. Like most things in life, everyone has their own definition of ‘rude’. Here’s what it means to accountant Rohit Bhuta (via quora)“If a girl is rude to people/me then it’s a big dealbreaker for me. By rude I mean not listening, and using swear words. I hardly would date a person or be in a relationship with a person who is like this.”

Student Neelam Sanas adds, “Name-calling in public, or being rude to waiters or domestic help, all these are major turnoffs as well.”

(Also read – Has The Internet Got You Questioning Your Relationship?)

3. Mistake: Taking your partner for granted

You know how in films they always focus on, even glorify the chase between the romantic leads? Unfortunately, IRL most people think that once they’ve got the guy or the girl and started the relationship, they can pretty much take them for granted. But if you really want your relationship to last and be a happy one, it’s important to make your S.O. feel desired and admired, even after several months of dating. Student Madhvi Vangani agrees, “People think the chase is over once the other person said ‘I love you’. It’s wrong! The chase begins just then. People think it takes 0.1 second to fall in love,  whatever it takes, the speed is ten times faster to fall out of love.  Every second spent, every word spoken matters.” (via quora)

4. Mistake: Trying to change them ‘for the better’

Knowingly or unknowingly, many of us try to change our partner –the way they talk, eat, dress, etc. You think you might be changing them ‘for the better’ but the fact is, you cannot change anyone unless they themselves want to change. Moreover, you ought to love a person for what he or she is. Being with someone for what they could potentially be, or for your delusional version of them in your head, is the biggest relationship mistake. Software engineer Lubna Shaikh sums it up perfectly, “People, particularly us females, often date or marry somebody with the hope that they ‘have potential.’ They think they can change the guy with their love, resolve, whatever. This is one of the biggest mistakes ever as you cannot mold somebody into who you want them to be. You just can’t. Be with someone for who they are, not for who they can be.”

5. Turnoff: Lack of personal space

Just because you are with someone doesn’t mean you are a literal extension of them. No matter how close you are, spending too much time together will get stifling – if not for you, then for them. A little distance does make the heart grow fonder! And it’s not just me. Lack of space and an unsupportive nature is a massive turnoff for engineer Jagriti Verma as well, “When your partner makes your life his life; when the boundaries of personal space vanish, it becomes suffocating.” (via quora)

6. Turnoff: Being lecherous and crass

Sure we all check out other men/women and appreciate beauty, but not to the point that we’re leching and ogling! No classy person will do that nor will your partner appreciate that. Neelam Sanas says, “Openly gawking at other women especially in their partner’s company is something I have seen many guys do – even after their S.O. has caught them doing it. I don’t know how ladies tolerate that! For me it’s not just a turnoff, it’s a dealbreaker.”

Dealbreakers, mistakes, turnoffs…all of them pretty much stem from popular and baffling misconceptions like we should wait to find the ‘perfect partner’(who doesn’t exist), because we have only one soulmate (not). Do not go thinking that ‘the one’ will totally ‘get me and make me happy no matter what’. When it comes to dating and relationships, go with your gut and make your own rules. No matter what you choose to do, own it! But remember to be true to the person you’re with.

Image Credit: Nikhil Mudaliar




Mahevash Shaikh is the twenty-something author of Busting Clichés. She loves to write, draw and laugh (among other things). You can find her using words and pictures to express herself and redefine the word "normal" at

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