The word demisexual might sound Greek to many of us. Simply put, demi means half, and sexual is sexual! But let’s try and understand the concept with an example.
Say, you’re out partying with friends — your BFF meets a cute guy at the bar, she gets talking to him, and before you know it, starts kissing and snogging the stranger. This fills you with utter disgust — she only just met the guy, right? If this is how you’d feel in the given situation, you, my friend, are demisexual.
A demisexual person is sexually attracted to someone they’re emotionally engaged with and have forged a deep emotional bond with. Such people feel the need to really get to know someone before they get intimate with them. In short, you wouldn’t get turned on by any rando.
Some studies even suggest that demisexual falls under the partially asexual spectrum of sexuality. This means, although it is completely natural to feel attracted towards a hot-looking person, you still wouldn’t get sexually attracted to them, simply because you do not know them. Yep, it takes more than just good looks to impress you!
While that sounds great, is the concept of demisexuality even possible today? As millennials, we’re living in the age of Tinder and speed-dating, and a right swipe means, “your place or mine?”.
So do you think demisexuality has any place in today’s hook-up culture? We asked a few Indian millennials to weigh in, and their answers will surprise you!
Having mixed feelings about the concept is Jinal Bhatt (25), a law graduate, who says, “I’ve been intimate with people I am not extremely sure about and it has been okay. But then again, I haven’t really had sex with someone who I am not emotionally attached to yet.”
Similarly, psychology graduate Krishna Tanna (22) believes, “I am not a complete demisexual. I haven’t had sex with anybody, but I have been intimate with someone I wasn’t really emotional about!”
It seems as though foreplay and making out is fine, but when it comes to the actual act, most millennial girls are afraid to take the leap.
Lavanya Shrivastava (23) says, “If I don’t feel strongly about a person, it’s very tough for me to engage with them physically. If it’s someone I don’t know or appreciate, it could be an emotionally draining experience.”
Agreeing with her is Sushri Sangeeta Sahu (24), who is presently in the sixth year of a long-term relationship. She feels, “Physical intimacy for me stems out of the connect I have with my partner. Otherwise it doesn’t work for me.”
And what do millennial men think?
Prabhjeet Singh Sethi (28) believes that sex is a very personal space for him and says, “(Demisexuality) has grown on me over the years, because I’ve been emotionally attached to all my partners first. Physical indulgence is more a matter of the heart than physical satisfaction.”
But product manager Rajat Sinha (24) rubbishes the concept. “Given today’s dating culture and access to apps like Tinder, I think it is hard for demisexuality to exist. If I fancy someone, I find a connect with her instantly and make my move,” he says.
Personally, I don’t think I’m demisexual, as I don’t feel the need to be emotionally involved with someone I’m casually dating. I’m willing to give in to the carnal desires without getting entangled in an array of emotions. However, there’s a good number of demisexuals around me, and some floaters of the concept too. But, to each his own, right?
What’s your take on being demisexual? Share your views in the comments below.
Image Credit: Imagesbazaar