Whether you’re in a casual relationship or a serious one, it’s only human to have certain expectations from it, especially if you’ve been investing a lot of time and energy into it. It is absolutely fair to expect a certain degree of love, respect, trust, support, and most importantly, space.
If your relationship is falling short of these factors and you’re still tugging it and keeping it alive, you probably need to reflect upon your self-worth.
You might be involved in a highly toxic relationship that could be affecting your happiness and wellbeing. The bigger question is: why?
How Things Get Toxic
From a third-person perspective, a deteriorating relationship has to be chucked without any second thoughts. But we understand that letting go of someone is easier said than done.
The question you need to ask yourself is: how bad can it get before you let it go?
A toxic relationship is one where you break-up with your partner every other week, but still get back together. And the reason is pretty much always the same — lack of trust, space, and mutual understanding.
You get stuck in a vicious circle wherein you think you are dependent on this person, but really, you’re just headed towards self-destruction.
Follow the Signs
When you ‘get used to’ someone being in your life, it might become hard for you to see the signs of a toxic relationship. Ask yourself if you identify with any of these red flags:
(1) You feel overpowered by your partner: You feel like you have become too submissive and are always trying to please your partner even if they’re wrong.
As Saloni Bindra, a 30-year-old boutique owner, tells us, “Any relationship has to be balanced. Whenever one person is trying to control the other, it becomes suffocating.”
(2) You fear having a discussion: If you feel afraid discussing things with your partner because you fear it’ll turn into an ugly argument, you need to question your relationship.
Freelance interior designer Swati Goel, 33, resonates with this problem. She says, “I used to avoid any kind of discussions with my partner out of the fear that it will lead to a fight. I felt it’s better to stay quiet than to get into a dirty argument.”
(3) You miss the person they used to be: You feel lonely because you think your partner has changed.
(4) You can’t be yourself: Piyush Sardana, 26, a software professional, gave up on his girlfriend for this very reason. He says, “In an effort to please her, I would do things that never came naturally to me. Then a time came when I thought to myself — I’m done.”
(5) You can’t stop criticising each other: If the negatives are all you see, perhaps it’s time to call it quits.
Seema Prasad, 34, a call centre executive, puts it clearly, “What’s the point carrying on when all you do is find faults with each other? People bring you down — and if your chosen one also starts doing the same, why hold on?”
A toxic relationship can drain you, and the first step towards fixing it is to acknowledge that you’re in one. Once you do that, don’t be afraid to let go.
You deserve nothing but the best, and you never know, the best might be somewhere out there waiting for you to bump into them!
Image Credit: Nikhil Mudaliar