“You know how January is the ideal wedding month? And how people just won’t stop uploading those cheesy ‘candid’ wedding photos that just make you go: damn, shouldn’t I have had this sorted too?” Whether you’re a latest entrant in the realm of singletons or you’ve been sulking around for a while, Shayla Ali’s rant will resonate with you.
As the 25-year-old digital marketing head rightly says, being single is often quite the pain in the you-know-what.
She adds, “It’s the worst when it dawns upon you that third-wheeling simply sucks, especially when you’re at a party and the only thing you end up kissing is your fifth shot of vodka. These are the days you end up missing an arm around your waist, a kiss on your forehead, and all the other similar sentimental garbage that movies, books and TV shows have sold for decades.”
But before you let the negativity and loneliness bog you down, being single for a long spell can actually help you do the one thing everyone craves — falling in love with yourself.
“Here’s what really bothers me, though: why should my marriage — not a work promotion — be a milestone?” she asks. “Why should finding a companion and having a partner complete you? Why can’t you be single, yet happy, sane and successful in your 20s, 30s, 40s, hell, even 50s!”
“It took me a while to realise it, but being single is actually the best thing to have happened to me. Not because I’m having a ball, hooking up with multiple people, travelling to places I’ve never been before — all of that is great, but those are just the perks. The best bit is that I’ve learnt to love myself, and live without needing someone to fill a non-existent void all the time.”
If Shayla’s words are anything to go by, being single in 2018 could actually be the best thing to happen to you. Think about it: being single means having more time for yourself. More time to be independent, to sort out your priorities, to focus on your growth and of course, to be more successful.
And as Unnati Arora points out, you’ll soon realise that arguably enough, self-love is way, way more fulfilling than any relationship can ever be.
“It’s a tad hypocritical of me to speak in favour of being single, because since I started dating boys as a 13-year-old, I haven’t stopped!” says the 22-year-old engineer.
“Between three long-term relationships, peppered with a few other times of me exploring romance and sexuality, I feel like I’ve perpetually been with one guy or the other. However, having not been with anyone for a year, it is only now I can truly talk about the freedom and this incredible sense of independence that all the single people perpetually brag about.”
Unnati insists that while her drive for achieving her goals wasn’t affected by the boys in her life, she never truly experienced the joy solitude brings.
“It’s a privilege to feel complete by yourself. You’re ready to weather whatever storm life sends your way, and that truly helps you feel confident to take anything on in your life. I’m not codependent on anyone, and I feel whole and happy. If anything, I’m more confident, exploring more avenues, and I’m finding out who I truly am as a person — and the entire process is beautiful.”
As these experiences will tell you, being single isn’t the worst thing in the world. If done right, it can actually be one of the best things to happen to you.
So how about you delete those dating apps, stop wasting precious time and energy looking for your soulmate, and focus on yourself this year?
Image Credit: Dailydot